Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
