I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
