she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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