I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
