Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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