No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
