Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
