Pants 0. Shit 1.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
