I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
