I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
operation harelip BJ is a go
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
