Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
