i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
