Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
