she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I had to cum in my sink.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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