i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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