There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
