I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
