oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
