you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Are we still banned from the library?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
