okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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