Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
