How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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