Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
