she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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