Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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