Welp...herpes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
