How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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