Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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