I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
