Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
