I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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