I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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