I heard we made out
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
