the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
