But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
