Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
