Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
