If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Let's get the cat blown out
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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