things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
