You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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