you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
