i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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