so that wasnt chicken after all
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
