He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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