Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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