I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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