how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
