his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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