he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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