this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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