so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
