Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
