i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
