no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
