my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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