Having a random hookup so left but love u
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
