I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
