When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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