hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
