flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
