Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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