A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Fuck appropriateness.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
