have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
