there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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