It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
