dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
